Well, just thought I would come in here to say I have not stayed off 100% as it turns out. Ah, disappointing but learning that is life. I certainly do not take it daily nor weekly for that matter. But I do have days accumulate where I do have to take some in the end to reground as the CBT and meditations to ground me won't work. I just get too pooped at times. But I can go weeks of none. I think I found my middle ground. I have processed and worked, I have learned living skills, I have also learned my limits. Sucks to admit have them but I do. But if a .5 xanax can help find my footing for a few weeks at a time oh well :) Shitload better than before! OK anniversaries I have to medicate more often, but if that is only twice a year that is way better than I thought my life would be. Just trying to keep th thread honest now. I am not addicted like I was, that is beat, but does not change I do still need it here and there.