(((((((((big hugs MM)))))))))) i know its horrible when lil things you dont understand trigger such a paralyzing fear. just breath Momma one breath after another and focus on something else. i know laundry can pile up!! believe me....mountainous in fact! i have EIGHT children and at one point all of them home, and still on occasion for the family get togethers....and yes im thankful my older children are now grown and on their own *30,23,21 and 19* and im down to only 4 at home *16,15,10 and 9* with all that being said...i can strongly relate to triggers that cause dibilitating interference with the almighty parental obligations. my heart to you Momma, dont beat yourself up for not understanding the base cause of your fear. it will come in time. so "they" say.