Thanks for that perspective Damiea. It is hard considering we have now been together 9 years, even though only married for 1. A lot of people thought a lot of the trouble was that we got married. Hubby has even said to me, "It's all your fault, you're the one who wanted to get married." That really hurt.

I do see what you mean when you say that for some the loss of the old person can be too much. And I even remember saying (when I thought PTSD would one day be gone from him), "I don't love this person he is now, but I know he is in there somewhere."

But now i know he will never be that same person again. But i like to think of it in a way that I read on this forum somewhere, I think it was Anthony that said, (paraphrasing) "That person will never be the same, they will be a new and hopefully improved model, although they will be weaker in some areas but hopefully stronger in some too."

I think the carers just need to try really hard to see the potential for the new improved model to come out.

And really, how many people don't change in the space of a few years anyway. How many of us can say we are the same person we were 10 or even 5 years ago? PTSD or not.