Hey Harry, thanks. I am sorry that you are/have gone thru this too. I would not wish it on anyone at all. I hope things are better with you now.

I saw hubby last night. It was a rather emotion charged meeting. I tried to keep it all simple. But really just wanted to show him i am still here, that I care and that I am beginning to really understand. I also made it clear how sorry i am for pushing him so hard and that I am furious at all the medical practioners whose doors we moved in and out of who did not feel the need to say 3 simple words, "do some research". Nobody told me I was treating him the wrong way. God help us!

But unfortunatley for now it seems the harsh memory of me pushing and pushing (but only trying to help and get things on track) is burnt into his brain so well that that's all he remembers and all he thinks of me.

It's hard to say I am so sorry and now I understand and want to be there for you, only to have him say back that I should have learnt sooner and should have listened to stop pushing. But God how right he is. I am guessing i just have to continue to give him space, make brief gently supportive contact and hope that it begins to fade those very hurt memories he has enough to try trusting me again.

I don't even think he will be home for Christmas or want to see me. He said he has too much work to do.... oh how he needs a rest. But I will not tell him what to do. I don't even know what to do.

The family are still making me very nervous. They are not showing signs of understanding and putting him first. He will not be seeing them for Christmas. He made that descision himself and I told him it was completely fine. I bet he was not expecting that.