I appreciate the info on the meds for mom. I think as time goes on I am correct in my sense that she is slipping into early alzhimers. But thank goodness she is having less and less agitation or at least she is trying to control it bc we don't seem to be argueing as much. Of course, that could also be because I am more aware and I am trying not to correct her all he time. It may be wrong but I am just letting her think whatever she wants to think. If I don't try to correct her we get along with no trouble.

It is so hard to watch her slip away from me. My mom is my only connection to the world. She is the only person in my life. What in the hell am I going to do when she goes? Who is gonna keep me safe? Who is going to nudge me to go outside? Unless I have to do something for mom I do not go out. I will wait till I go out for her to get anything I need. OMG What am I going to do? I am so terrified!

I did not realize this had crept into my brain again. Maybe I need to do some intense visits to my shrink again. Lost my insurance that was paying for him so it's been a while. But I think the time has come to see him at least once anyway. Oh dam diary. Why do I keep gooing to this dark and scarey place???????