Well diary it is now 2008. I am wake as usual when the rest of the world is sleeping. Just took my meds so now I just wait for them to begin working. The last thing I did in 2007 was talk to my daughter---my daughter--dam that sounds good! Not sure if I should use her name here but can't hurt I guess. Need the practice. Been years since I've even said her name. Was just to painful. Her name is Lori. My daughter Lori. This is just to cool. We had a great conversation, felt good. We still have those occasional silent awkward pauses, but in general doing very well under the circumstances.

I spoke with my new son-in-law for the 1st time this evening. He seems to be very nice and polite with a good sense of humor.

I have a new problem creeping into my thoughts and I don't like what is happening. I found myself this evening resenting the other gandparents because they were with my grandbaby and holding her and enjoying her. There is enough junk rarrling around in my head on a daily basis and I don't need more unhealthy junk creeping in. Logic is not working---------------------! How can I resent people I don't even know I once heard a term used that seems to fit many circumstances I am in or that I think I am in .

It is called Awfullizing. It really is not a word I don't thhhhink but it is what I am doing Dam it and I don't like it.