Oh my JAZ. I am so very to hear about all your very difficult times. Your story is very very familiar to me. I have a great deal of compassion for you and I completely understand your devotion to your husband. I myself have questioned many times if mine deserves to have me feel forgiveness for all he has done, but it is involuntary I suppose. And we don't even have children.

As the others have advised, most definitely get counselling. Both of you and possibly together. But that will probably be down the track. Your husband needs therapy as soon as possible, but just be sure that the medical health professionals you deals with know what they are doing. It can be even more damaging for PTSD sufferers to get the wrong sort of attention than none at all.

A few tips with this though, he is unlikely to go to therapy if he feels pushed. So be careful there. Ans also remember that a PTSD sufferer in a bad way such as your husband seems to be can only process a little at a time. It is positive that you are speaking with him everyday, but be sure to keep it a positive experience where possible. And use what my psychologist calls "sound bites". A few words in short sentences. To the point. Leaving some space between, to allow him to both process what you have said and also give him the opportunity to speak if he wants to. Many PTSD sufferers will express their frustration with people who think they can't think for themsleves and make their own decisions. They can and do, but when they are ill, it is much more difficult and they will resist agreeing with anyone who tries to "control" them. (At least that's how I understand it)

I am not saying that you are trying to control your husband, but it is probably how he sees it. And in my case, my husband left to get away from me doing it, even though I was just trying to stop him "messing up" (frivilous spending, lying, treating friends like crap, wreckless and dangerous behaviour, etc) and get his life back on track. He took it as me suggesting he was incapable of m,aking decisions and living his own life (even though in some ways he was), so he was like, "Ha! I'll show you! I'm gonna go live my life how I want to and do what I want." Which is exactly what he is doing right now. And his "messing up" has only got worse.

Be grateful your husband is with a family member, someone who obviously cares. My husband is alone, well, at least most of the time I think... really don't know now. This has at times made me worry a great deal about suicidal thoughts. He is that low it is very possible, although nothing confirmed on that front.

You can't stop this from repeating, but don't forget, you can't ensure any marriage won't fall apart for whatever reason, PTSD or not. This type is just a hell of a lot more work. But it sounds to me like if he does return (and you probably can't do much to convince him either way really), you seem loving, compassionate and understanding enough to give this PTSD carer thing a really good shot.

The best "insurance" you can get is as much healing as possible for your husband, thru therapy and to keep yourself as emotionally and mentally strong to be best suited to cope with whatever happens. And be sure to take good care of you daughter too. Also, as Kathy said, arm yourself with as much info on PTSD as possible. It makes it easier to understand his actions and helps you know the best way to respond and act otherwise.

I wish you the best of luck and send you strength. You are in my prayers. Please keep us informed.