Kathy, going for help when you are in so much pain is nothing to be embarrassed about, even if it is from a former colleague !

They are there to listen to you, to help you move on, and when I say move on, I don't mean it in a bad way, as if you will forget about Brian ! but I mean it as in "to live your life, knowing it will never be the same". You will learn to accept the pain and misery that comes with the loss of a child. Accepting that life will never be the same.

Knowing that in time, you will remember Brian and smile ! Oh, I know it will take time, and the pain you feel now is perfectly normal. Our children should never go before us !

But also know that each one of us grieves in our own way ! Who should tell us how to measure grief ? or how long and how we should grieve ? Noone, but you !

Jim mentioned that you are having a harder time then he is. That doesn't mean he loved Brian less or misses him less, but we all grieve differently. And you are still in one phase of the process.

But you are accepting the fact that you need help ! And that is a measure step forward !

God Bless !