So Anthony what you are referring to is similar to "hitting bottom" in alcoholism, at least that is what Jim and I call it? I know Jim's bottom with his alcoholism was when I left him. That was the jolt he needed to begin work about himself. The unfortunate part is, that would not have been enough for some. Their bottom might be lower, losing not only their family, but also their job, becoming homeless, their health deteriorating and so on. Some never hit a bottom and drink themselves to death. It is a risk as you say, however totally up to the individual in question.

This point did get me thinking though Jen, are there ways in which you might be enabling your husband? By enabling I mean doing things for him which he should be doing for himself? Doing things which keep him from addressing his problems? I apologize for using alcoholism as an example as it is not exactly the same, however - with Jim, I used to enable him thusly: if he was hungover from being drunk, I would ring his superiors at work, lie and tell them he was ill, rather than letting him call them himself. If he made a huge mess whilst drunk, I would clean it up whilst he was sleeping it off, rather than letting him see what he did whilst drunk and cleaning it himself. He often would not come home for dinner with no explanation, yet I would not complain and I would make up a plate for him and keep it warm. Those are just some little examples of my enabling.