Yes excellent point Anthony, thank you. Grieving is normal obviously, and losing one's child is especially difficult. Additionally 8 months is really not such a long time to deal with a traumatic death. Jim is still grieving, Evie is grieving, the other children are grieving... however there is a certain "quality" to their grieving which suggests to me they are getting on with things in spite of their pain. Myself, on the other hand - I have reached a point where I do not believe my grieving is normal any longer. Not that I should not feel sad or angry or any other of the feelings I am experiencing - rather that these feelings are now spilling into the rest of my life and interferring with my day to day living in a rather large way. That is what I fear is not normal. I have not talked much about my symptoms here, however perhaps I should.

Again, this is why I suspect it is not normal this time round. I was much stronger after the murders than I am now. Even with Evie being run off all that time and Jim and I worrying for her safety it was not like this. I've never experienced nightmares and anxiety to this extent in my entire life. Whilst Jim and I were driving to town yesterday, we saw the wreckage of an accident on the highway. Jim did not make the connection however I immediately thought of Brian. I was quite out of sorts for the rest of the day, crying and being quite snappy with Jim, and experienced fresh nightmares of Brian that evening.

I might as well say here that the results of my assessment are leaning towards my having traumatic stress. Not PTSD, but temporary traumatic stress that may be eradicated with treatment. I do intend to work dilligently upon myself so that it does not become anything more than that. I feel fortunate as Jim has had traumatic stress from combat and was able to work through it. So, given his experience, he will assist me in addition to the therapy. I need to accept his help and not be proud! We are both hoping for the best possible outcome.