Both your lives are uniquely up to yourselves individually, as you are first an individual then a relationship (partners) supposedly. Not really about knowing what to say Jen, more just telling it from experience. I look at my past quite honestly, knowing where I was a shit and what my faults where, and I can admit them without issue. I use them to learn from each and every day now in order to better myself. Denial is a wonderful thing, we all do it. Your partner has been doing this for longer than me now, yet still lounging around doing nothing. See my point? We make choices as individuals on whether we heal and learn to manage PTSD, whether we force ourselves out of bed and into life or not. He is responsible for his choices just as you are also for yours. He chooses to manipulate your vulnerabilities and weaknesses, you choose to allow him to exploit them by walking away and not causing conflict. You have gotten better I must add though, in that atleast now you go and have a life of your own and no longer wait for him to fix himself, because that just isn't the case at present. Again, he must want to heal and must want to learn how to get back into life, how to manage PTSD and his lifestyle.

Who wouldn't lounge around all day if allowed? I would... thats for sure, but I choose not too as I know it isn't productive for my health, mental or physical. I force myself into life each day, and once I get going I am ok providing I manage my day and not ensue myself with stressors that I know will overload me and make me ill. Choices Jen.... its all about choices, both carer and sufferer.