Jen, as I always say though.... you cannot help them unless they want to help themselves. He doesn't want to help himself, he wants to sit in self pity, sympathy, and cry poor him. When he wakes up one day and realizes that his life sucks and only he can change that, maybe he might do something.... unfortunately he is dragging you down. Again though, atleast you are doing your own thing now and not worrying about him so much. He is manipulating you, he is abusing you by pulling your emotional strings, but you own that one, not him, by allowing him to do it. Both people in the relationship must change if the relationship is going to actually be something of balance, equality, love and respect for one another.