Well diary, today was a day to go out and it was hard. Waited a long time--an hour to be exact--which is way to long for me to be out in a crowd. Slept the rest of the day.

I guess that this diary area is really intended for us to relate and release our traumas. Again, there is something I can't participate in. I don 't know what the hell is wrong. Why I can't recall.

Did some research on line about fainting/syncope in children. Made quite a few discoveries that may help to shed some light on this mess I'm in.

Seems that many of the indicators for PTSD in a child follow the lines of my childhood. Shyness is in the list along with the vomiting and of course the fainting. The one thing that seemed to surprise me was the fact that sexual abuse DID NOT necessarily have to be the cause of this. I even discovered that this would have been caused sometime around ages 5-7.

Nothing is coming back yet but I know it will, just scared of when it will. I do feel better thought now that I know this PSD does not necessarily mean that I was abused.

The research said that verbal abuse can be a cause as well as an emotional situation. That info sure felt good to hear.