3yrs, I am glad you got that out of you... and I hope you do more off it for your own sake. What is it with parents that say stupid things like that? How exactly is their childs beating going to embarrass them? I just don't understand some people logic, in that a violent incident doesn't create embarrassment, it creates caring, it creates emotional response.... I just don't get it. Nevertheless, it happens though, and your case is another example of this.

I am sorry this happened to you 3yrs, and I personally wish that you would press charges on him now, as you probably can still. Now that your older, it may just give you some personal satisfaction and a little closure knowing that your attacker is no longer just getting away with it, and especially because it wasn't really your decision to begin with... you were coerced.

The best thing though, is that your here, helping yourself. Learning how to manage PTSD is the easy part, doing it is the hard part, and take years of practice to really perfect. A good start though 3yrs, and I am very glad your seeking help for yourself.

How does your mothers influence then, emotionally affect you now though? How does it impact on your relationship with her?