Sarah,

Welcome to the forum. Hard place for you, as you and your son must have also had a pretty good relationship with your in-laws. A couple of things to help you put this in perspective:

-He will push everyone away if he can, PTSD does that and it takes a lot of resilience from the spouse to deal with that. I won't lie to you, it hurts, its bs and it will take a while until things get better. A lot of that will depend on how willing he is to seek help for himself.

-Just because he has pushed his parents away doesn't mean YOU have to lose their support nor should you son lose his grandparents. If your relationship with them is amicable then please re-establish the communication lines for yours and bubby's benefit. If your husband chooses not to, thats his issue and not yours. I am not encouraging you to be deceitful about it (those with PTSD struggle with trust), tell your husband up front (when he is in a reasonable mood) that you need their support right now and your son needs his grandparents. Don't let him bully you into not seeking help from them, their support will be invaluable to you. Please take my word on this.

-If his parents were responsible last time, who will it be next time? YOU, and you will continue (according to him) to be the source of his problems, bad mood, withdrawal etc until he gets out of this self-denial or you challenge him on it.

-Take care of you and your son first. By all means encourage him (no nagging allowed) to seek help, even drop counselling numbers on his desk but take of you guys first. Just because they can't talk doesn't mean babies don't feel the stress. If he becomes abusive or violent in any way, take the baby and get the hell out of there. Your priority has to be you and your son. Don't let yourself go down my path of self guilt and self-blame, because you cannot fix his behaviour and you are not responsible for it. Do what you have to in order to keep both of you safe.

-Good idea to get counselling for you but make sure that the person is experienced in dealing with PTSD. They will be of little help to you otherwise. As for the marriage......don't be surprised if he a. either won't go to counselling because he can't see anything wrong with the marriage or b. will go but reluctantly........the outcome will be the same. No real change.

Yes, I have been where you are now. I've seen a fair bit of what PTSD has to offer and its horrible for both parties. He needs help and you need support. Taking care of yourself and your little one will make you feel better an lessen the tension at home a little bit. Your husband is the only person who can make the steps to heal. No amount of wishing or frustration on your behalf will change that, it will just make it worse for you. Please have a look around the forum and you will find answers to some of the questions that are bugging you. Keep posting here, ask questions, vent, scream, whatever the hell you have to if it will make you feel better.