Seen my trauma therapist yesterday. I clicked with her! She is very nice, knowledgeable and I felt really comfortable with her. Luckily I kept a copy of my trauma list on my computer (I'm unable to even see mine on the forum) and gave her a copy of it. We talked about my history to this point, what I've been working on, my symptoms and what the process will be for therapy. We will work on safety right now. This will encompass both external and internal feelings of safety, coping skills, and an action plan for me. We will also hammer out how and when to contact her once we start working on the traumas, and who else should be on a contact list for me when it gets to be too much. I will see her once every two weeks for this aspect of the trauma. Once we start working on my trauma I will see her once a week. She really empathized that we are team and that I need to be comfortable with that. Also that my honesty is needed in order to make this work. She didn't feel I have an issue with that, but once trauma work starts it's common for clients to "back off" due to the increase in symptoms. She needs to know what my symptoms are doing in order to help me. She will also be working closely with my psych.

I am currently on a higher dose of Remeron in anticipation of the trauma therapy. I find it's really helping too. My symptoms are much more manageable right now. It's not helping me sleep, but I seem to be doing half assed okay on that anyways. (being really ill right now helps! lol I'm sleeping lots anyways!)

So although the very hard and painful work is quickly coming, I'm feeling very positive about it! I feel like everything is finally coming together for me. I've advocated hard to get here! :)

bec