Like a lot who've responded here I have memories up to and after my initial trauma. What actually happened, I don't know. I can speculate by trying to recreate, in my mind, what happened and use logic to fill in blanks. It helps...to a point. I also know there are a number of different opinions on whether recoverying memories are important for recovery.

Here's my opinion. It's important to me that I remember. But that's me. I'm the kind of person who searches out answers that I don't have. I don't know if I will ever recover these 'lost' memories. I'd like to just for my own personal feeling of completness. But it hasn't stopped me from working on myself, my traumas and my healing. I have gotten back bits and pieces that I never had before. So it's something. Research I've read says that dissociating during trauma (which I did) tends to make memory recovery a crap shoot at best.

So I keep moving forward and deal with what comes to me. And I hope as I deal with things that more and more memories will come to the surface for me. If not, I've mostly come to terms with that.

Lisa