Jolene,

I'm posting as a sufferer and former caregiver for a spouse who sustained a serious brain injury. (I hope I'm not going "out of bounds" by posting here.

I'm not a former military person but some of your husband's behavior describes my own. I'm speaking primarily of denial and rationalizations not to get help. I don't know how common this is among sufferers, but I suspect it's rampant. You could start a poll among this group if you're interested in getting more feedback.

Being a caregiver can be consuming (make you lose your sense of self) especially if you ignore your own emotional and physical needs. While it may be inappropriate and ineffective to push him into therapy, IMHO it is appropriate to let him know how his behavior is affecting you and your son. You might also want to consider getting some professional guidance (counseling) on your own. You are also suffering.

Ruddy