This you will learn through experience Jolene, though trial and error. At least, that is how I have learned to deal with it, along with constantly educating myself of course. That isn't to say I have now "arrived" either; far from it. I am constantly making mistakes and learning. The important thing is, to keep trying, keep learning, and be willing to admit your mistakes when you make them. You will never be the perfect carer, however if you are willing to be honest with yourself, you cannot go wrong.

Yes, feeling angry is very normal. Living with a PTSD sufferer can be most frustrating at times. The important thing is, what you do with your anger and frustration. Do you try to think of different ways to deal with a difficult situation, devise solutions for yourself? Do you speak to your husband openly about how you are feeling? You mention for example how he is treating your son, how your boy feels very sad and so on. That is something you truly do need to address with your husband. You and your child have rights as well. Your husband should not be permitted to walk all over you simply because he has an illness; you also deserve respect and happiness. And regarding compassion - compassion does not mean always being kind and sweet and retiring to another. At times it is more compassionate to point out to someone bluntly where they are going wrong. A little tough love can go a long way. Again, it boils down to honesty. Be honest with yourself and your family and you cannot go wrong.