i dont really think or want everyone in my support system to know exactly what im going thru, and i dont expect my counselor to know or understand what ive dealt with, but it would be nice to have at least one person. I have no one that can relate to my sitatuon, so it makes life very lonely in that aspect. i can talk all day long to people, but to have that one person that can truly understand, would make healing just that much easier.

i dont think that because someone doesnt know what im going thru, it doesnt take away their ability to help or just be there to listen. i have 2 great friends that listen and help me out, but when i feel alone when it comes to some aspects of our situation, its hard cuz i have no one to talk to. they can only help so much by listening. having a true understanding i think is the key part of therapy that ive been missing. and thats from everyone, my friends, family, counselor, everyone as a whole.

its not that i want to only surround myself with military. i actually have pulled away from military , moved away from the base and hardly go up there and have only a few military wives as friends. but its the PTSD part that i want to be incorporated in any abuse training or counseling. the classes that the civilians wanted me to take were ignorant to the fact that PTSD was a major issue in our family and denied that PTSD had anything to do with the abuse. which to me, completely turned me away from their "treatment" or help. and their ignorance is the main reason i refuse to try their programs. i will find something that works for me, not something that someone else thinks will work for me. i go to the vet center for counseling, and if later i find something that works for me, whether its military related or not, as long as it has an understanding of PTSD, i have no problems trying it out.

PTSD seems like its a relatively new concept or problem that local communities havent had training on, which is probably why ive had to stick closer to military related programs. i would love to find something closer to me, since i dont live near the base anymore. i hate the drive and have canceled apts because of the weather. and i would like to not have to do that. i wish my local community was more open minded and that they didnt make me feel the way i do about their programs. but when someone isnt educated, they become ignorant. and its a let down to us who are having these issues, but i dont feel secure enough in their programs that they offer.