Hi MSKTAYLOR0207,

My name is: Donna (aka wildcritter).
My husband use to be on the forum as: Ranger. He is a disabled Army Ranger Airborne. He had a parachute collaspe 70 ft off the ground. He is alive and doing very well considering his fall. He was on drug interdictions runs in South America. (Well, not according to the military we weren't there), but the truth is the 82nd Airborne Rangers were and were involved in things that truely hurt them. (Physically and emotionally).
Ranger suffers from PTSD, flashbacks, night terrors, depression, fits of anger, and suffers chronic pain in his low back, hips, knees and ankles..
We are still going thru the process of getting him 100% disabled, currently he is at 60%.
I wasn't his wife while he was in the military. He got out in 1997 and we met in 1998 and were married in 2000. So I kinda knew a little bit about him.

You said your husband wasn't violent before he left. Once you both learn what "triggers" him to "lose it", that will help you both to avoid some of the issues at hand. The night terrors are the ones I find very difficult because he's a sleep and I had to learn how to wake him up without getting hit or scaring him to death. I learned that they in "their unit" would sleep with their ankles crossed or would rub their ankles together to wake the other one up. This helped me -- avoid getting hurt... Knowing you are Looking down the wrong end of a gun (hearing the action click) in the dark can be scarey as all hell...and you pray and talk to them is a calm voice repeating yourself until you pray you get thru.
Therapy will help you both.. with the right therapist... no doubt..

YOU ARE VERY BRAVE AND VERY LOVING OF YOUR HUSBAND FOR STAYING WITH HIM THROUGH ALL OF THIS.

It is not an easy road. Feeling alone is IMO normal. The family not understanding the situation from afar is very understandable. My husbands family lives within 20 miles and they DO NOT UNDERSTAND ANY OF IT. Or may be believe it, I truely don't know which.

If your husband believes anything close to what mine does... They are afraid of continuing to put us through hell, is what my husband told me.
He also didn't believe he was lovable because of things he had done "over there!" He also hates living with the faces (in his mind) of things that happened over there. It's like a disease that slowly eats away at them.
I am often afraid when Ranger gets depressed of suicide. So I am glad your husband is getting help.

I will pray that you BOTH get better.

Hugs to you

Take Care

Donna