As the subject deviated, I split this thread from the following :
Feeling So Alone and Need Some Support Quote:
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Originally Posted by klmn Re: "I still havent met anyone who has been abused because of their husbands PTSD and flashbacks."
I am not at all familiar with combat related PTSD, so I might be off base here. But I do have PTSD from abuse, and I've been battling it for a long, long time so I'm familiar with most of the symptoms. I might be wrong here, but I am pretty sure that having PTSD does not make your husband abuse you. Rather, it makes your husband very, very angry and rageful - but he still has a choice as to what to do with that rage. If I am wrong there, somebody, please correct me. I think it is important not to let him use his trauma as an excuse for bad behaviour towards you. |
KM, you raise some interesting points. I know for a fact that, here in Canada at least, domestic violence is far more common among military families than in the civilian population. Now whether that is because domestic violence is simply more reported on military bases, or is a result of the military mindset, or whether PTSD and combat stress has anything to do with the statistics, I am uncertain. There is a bit of controversy over it. I know that when my husband suffered combat stress, he was abusive to myself and the children. However, he was never abusive prior to the combat stress, and has not been abusive since treatment for it, and it has been about 30 years now. Though as you say, perhaps it is simply the extreme anger and rage causing the abuse, rather than the illness itself. In any event, the bottom line for me is always, the abuser has a choice and they control their actions, regardless of stress or illness. They must be responsible for their actions.