I would say here in Australia that domestic violence is less in the military than the civilian populous, however; I would say it is reported more within military families as it is purely just not condoned here. If you abused your partner here and the military become aware of it, you will be punished by the military here administratively, which can hurt all in its own little way. Domestic violence in Australia is an issue, however; it is not as accepted here as it is within some parts of the world either.

KM, I think your points are very relevant, and whilst harsh as you say, they are accurate IMHO. Well said. He owns the abuse, regardless PTSD or not, he owns his actions. PTSD is a cause but that does not give a sufferer the excuse to abuse, it simply gives them a reason as to why. What they then do about that is within their control individually. I was emotionally abusive, never physically, when ill. It was my partner who was physically abusive to me. PTSD does not negate a person becoming physically abusive though.... as I believe, those attributes are either there or not within a person already.

I will be totally honest with you. I will say that the abuser owns their actions, and this one is no doubt going to get some flack. But it is proven that some partners, being the receiver, certainly provoke their partners to abuse them in some way. It is like my emotional abuse that I gave out, it would have provoked my partner in some aspects at times. Whilst she owned her physical abuse to me, I owned my emotional abuse to her. When I removed being emotionally abusive she was still physically abusive. Some times people may just not be compatible is what I am trying to say, in that two people can be abusive together, however; a more compatible partner may then remove abuse completely, both physical and emotional simply because one or both are not provoking the other in spite, pain or frustration. Habits forms parts of this and other factors. A person can heal, learn and grow all they want, but if both parties aren't achieving this then it can often become a waste of time for a relationship, as one will still tip toe round or be frightened from past behaviours, etc, which may then re-provoke the abuser to just adopt their old ways as atleast then the other person knows what to expect.

Abuse has a vicious cycle, and it must be broken on both fronts, not just one or the other, as both have pain that must be dealt with and healed if the relationship is to survive.