Hi
I have recently told my employer that I am not coping again and they have been great. They have offered to pay for 6 sessions of therapy for me which is great.

The reasons why I'm not coping is that I have given up my meds ( i have no choice in this as i have a phobia about them and want to get pregnant), my R**e Crisis counselling is over (you only get a set amount of sessions as they are a charioty and have limited funding), I can't see my psychologist because she is far too expensive for me to be able to afford now (£136 per hour!) and she's on long term sick leave, I don't talk to people around me about how I am, I haven't had any counselling or help with this since November because I'm still on the waiting list for an NHS counsellor (have been waiting 8 months for this and I still have another 6 to wait at least - I can't manage without talking for that long) and I'm failing to cope with work. Not a very long list at all hehehehe

So anyway, I see this new counsellor tomorrow and I'm worried about it. I'm going to have to start from scratch again and I really dont know if i can cope with it. I know i'm just going to be in floods of tears and a complete mess but I know from past experience that it will help. I know i need someone to talk to in real time desperately but once the sessions are over i'm back to square one again with no long term help. She is a relationship counsellor and I don't think she specialises in PTSD (I will confirm or not whether this is the case tomorrow of course) - I hear on this site that it really is important to see someone who specialises in trauma or PTSD. But i dont think there is much PTSD support available round here as I live in an isolated area.

My GP told me that most counselling sessions only last six weeks anyway and im also worried that when I do get an NHS counsellor assigned to me that I will only get another 6 sessions. There's no way that my issues can be sorted out that quickly. And then I'll have to start all over again. Just seems a bit futile to be starting from fresh every six sessions or so. It can take longer than that to build up the trust to tell them just some of the major issues that goes on in my head so how is that ever going to be dealt with in 6 weeks?

Seems like the only option I have is to run myself into debt and pay for a psychologist or counsellor. And i think that would do a lot of harm to my marriage and therefore just make things worse.

Grrrr - no viable long term options.

Sorry for venting about that but its good to get that frustration out a bit.

Anyone else having a problem getting long term help, feeling like this or have any advice?