Hi Dshanks,

When we start dealing with our issues we change a lot and this can make the people in our lives rather uncomfortable. Especially if like me, you weren't that assertive before (ie, I used to be a big push over, when I suddenly started saying no, asking for what I wanted, - they just couldn't handle it).

I lost a lot of friendships during my first few years of therapy. I regret burning so many bridges and not working more at negotiating through the conflicts. I've been slowly reconnecting with some of them, but some of those friendships are lost forever. (& in some cases, it is a very good thing that they gone, there were some bad apples in there).

One possible suggestion is maybe to try a "time out" period instead of ending the friendship altogether. Sometimes having some time away from the person to think / heal / get some perspective helps. If she is still rubbing you the wrong way at the end of your "break" from her, then you will, of course, have the option to walk away from the friendship, then. (Kind of obvious, but, if you do take a time out make sure that she knows that that is what you are doing, otherwise, she will probably be furious with you by the time it is over).

I'm not really sure about this as suggestions go... but, just thought I would throw it out there as a possibility.

KM