Thank you for your advice Waif.

After reading your commnet I decided that maybe it would be a good idea to print off my diary even though I have only just started on it. Maybe that will help her to help me. Just handing her a piece of paper might make things easier on me too, although I know that it is good to force myslef to talk about these things. However, it will mean that we can deal with solutions to the problem rather than me just breaking down in front of her. That is about as far as I have got with previous counsellors so I think they spent more time trying to make sure I was going to get through the day rather than dealing with helping me to find recovery solutions - a matter of damage limitation I guess.

The NHS offers free help but as I say it does take ever such a long time to get seen. There's always the Samaritans but I have had a bad experience with them already on their hotline and I'm not inclined to go back to people who accuse me of making things up. Maybe they hadn't had the right sort of training to deal with me in an appropriate manner. I will do some research to see if there are any other free groups over here.

I don't have insurance but it might be a more affordable route to go down if it covers counselling and if I am allowed to apply for it in hind sight. I will look into that too. Thank you.

I'm afraid i have already drained my bank account though lol. Could always increase the mortgage?!?!?! Hmmmm. A psycho-therapist is definitely worth considering for me. I once went to one when I was younger as I was very stressed about having exzema all over my face and body. It's gone now. Somthing that i now think was a pathetic thing to worry about in comparison to what I am now going through.

Thank you so much for those ideas again and for taking the time to answer me. Hoping your therapy speeds you on your road to recovery. Take care.