I'm so sorry that you understand the way i feel claire. Yeh guilt is a major one. and youre right that she cant help me if she doesnt know. Ive only got 6 sessions with her and i know that wont be enough. nowhere near. So what will i do when they are over? I'll have to start all over again with someone else - thats if i can find someone else. still waiting for an nhs counsellor but thats going to be at least another 6 months. I have already been waiting for 8 months. i hate being so down on myself but i am not able to feel proud. Not able to feel anything positive about myself. I dont know how to look aftermyslef. hubby came home and didnt even ask how it went. Does he care? Maybe he does and isnt coping with it himslef. so scared to talk to him about how i am. Cant let anyone in to see the real me. Although that is one very positive thing that i have been able to do on this site. I know i should be kinder to myself i just dont know how to. i have never liked to make things easy for myself and never have done. thats a skill im going to have to learn. Again, i dont know how. Lack of sleep and food isnt helping i spose. I really do hope that you are right about getting better. Thats all i want apart from children. dont feel brave but thank you for saying that. AMybe one day i will and it will give me strength.

I know what you are saying about people on this site. That is so right. But i dont expect people to help. You cant help others until you have helped yourself. I wish everyone on this site to heal as quickly as possible. Not because i want help mind you. People here deserve their suffering to go away. Every one has been so kind and hopefully i will be strong enough to do that for others one day.