I have talked to my doctor and told her im really bad and she has written a letter asking for me to see a female nhs counsellor and for me to be moved up te list. I guess that is all she can do. My doctor has seen me in tears plenty of times but has never seen me as low as today. I always seem to break down once i have left the doctors but i have a massive issue with doctors- im taking one to court for lack of duty of care because she has made mty trauma effects so very much worse. Like you i went private but i cant afford her anymore at £163 per hour and she is off on long term sick leave anyway. Going to call the local mental health tema tomorrow if i can to see if i am likely to be moved up the list or not. I really do hope so.