Awww thank yo so much Sunnydaze for offering to lend me your ear.

I identify with you in that it sometimes helps me to help others but you must also make sure that you look after you too. I also widh to offer you my friendship and will help whenever i am able.

I know that i shouldnt be ashamed but i think it is ingrained im my mind now. Cant ever see myself not being ashamed but i hope i can one day.

I have only been here a couple of days and have found the posting so helpful and the information, advice and care overwhelming in a good way.

I am so glad that you have such a wonderful counsellor and i know that it helps to know that they care. I havent had any counselling since the start of november now and was so desperate to speak to someone. However i only have 6 sessions with this counsellor and know that i wont be either much better or cured by then. It doesnt give much time at all to develop a proper realtionship with her unfortuanltely. But i will jsut have to try and take each day, each hour, each minute as it comes and cross that bridge when it comes to it. Maybe by the end of the 6 sessions i will have been assigned an NHS counsellor. Which will mean starting all over again but as i say - take each minute as it comes.

i have never been able to look any counsellor in their eyes fro maore than a second or two so i know where you are coming from. I have always wondered if not looking my counsellors in the eyes made them think that i was lying as lack of eye contact can sometimes demonstrate lack of honesty. I have always thought they might think this of me because 2 doctors and a Samaritans phone counsellor have doubted me. That did me so much harm. Maybe i should tell my new counsellor that this is not the case and that it is purely becasue i am so ashamed. I know what she will say though. she will just tell me that i have no reason to be. But putting that into practice is ever so hard. As is ridding my self of the guilty feelings and self hated.

Maybe one day.