Hi I just wanted you to know that I hear you, and I'm listening.
You have received so much helpful advice and support here.
Try not to beat yourself up. I think you did an amazing job telling your counsellor everything. Wow! No wonder it knocked you for six.
I don't have any wise words (probably because I'm still a mess myself), but I'm listening.
You are making so many steps to help yourself - I think you are doing great, under very difficult circumstances.
Take good care

cherryblossom