hiya whiltewolf
Thanks so very much for your reply and it means a lot. I hear what you are saying and im so glad that you fell like that now - u deserve to feel better. I just feel like i did allow him to do what he did. I had a choice to make - allow it or die. So i chose to allow him to do it. Does that make sense? I feel awful for having allowed him to do that and i feel that it wiuld have been better to choose the other option. I know that sounds awful but its how i feel. Just feel like damaged goods. I made decissions that were so bad in hindsight and i wish i could change them but i cant. And that saddens me unbelievably. However, I will live in hope that one day i will feel the way you do about this. Thank you ever so much for letting me see that it is possble. Means an awful lot. Take care