Well I have to say I'm angry at your title, I find it quite triggering but I guess that's my issue.

I think I've found the thread you are referring to and only read a few posts.

Seems to me that Anthony & Kathy are simply talking about co-dependancy. Google it.
It's a pretty widely accepted theory about perpetuating the cycle of physical/emotional abuse in families. Enabling etc. It's not blaming the victim.

I will let Anthony & Kathy respond for themselves, but I think you may have misunderstood them. I'm not reading into their posts what you seem to be (but then I've never been a victim of physical/emotional abuse).