Yep, Kerrie and I certainly fell into that routine also Jim.... the only difference, I worked through it and ceased it for the destructive behaviour it was, Kerrie didn't, hence why we are no longer married. Kerrie had it though before she met me.... I though I could change that, I too became destructive due to my own PTSD.... and well, again, results are the present. A relationship just is not easy if one or both parties are abusing the other.