Before I got my really bad flashbacks, (yes I remembered alot, just not the all of it.) I kept telling doctors and staff that it was something they said and something they did I need to remember.
Well the flood gates finally opened and wouldn't shut again for what seemed like an eternity.
Now I know what they said and what they did, but I would never want to remember all of the flashbacks, Lord hear me now!!!!!!!! Never.
My mind remembers what I did to change myself due to the trauma, and when one comes that I don't feel I need to go thru, I will avoid the processing of it, trying to make it not as powerful. Sometimes I have luck, most times I don't, but I truly believe you don't need to remember ever single detail. Why would I want to, I know they were sick,
but if part of my defenses was strengthened by what they did, I can work on me, like getting closer to others, when I really just want to live on a deserted island alone.