I cut myself on a regular basis for about 1 1/2 years after my trauma. I stopped after I left my parents home. Once I left there I think I felt like I was more in control of my life and didn't need to do that any more. It was something I did in secret. I remember feeling extremely angry about something before I would cut. It seemed as though I was making a choice between harming myself or exploding in a rage and destroying some object or harming someone else. It was anger and frustration turned inward.

When I look back on it, it seems impossible that I could have done that to my body. I'm such a coward that I don't even have pierced ears.