Hi WTI, I need to think about an answer some more before I reply but in the meantime I did want to say that I believe:

• Children are more perceptive than we give them credit for
• It is important not to lie to your children - as in a child senses there is something wrong with you from instinct yet you tell them nothing is wrong.... I think this messes up their internal processes as they may then question what they feel if they are told it is wrong. What I think I am trying to say is you don't want to teach a person not to trust their gut instincts whether they are 5 or 50. The reason I say this is when I was growing up I "felt" things were wrong yet were told they were not so. As an adult I have had to spend a whole lot of time re-training myself to listen to that little voice inside of me rather than rationalising what I knew. I made more mistakes listening to what people told me rather than going with what I felt and the reason I did this was because I was "trained" to do so as a child.

I agree that you need to speak to your daughter and it is good that you are trying to work out a way to do it. Well done!