kathy, i dont think anything you said was what upset me. i think responses and comments from people who maybe havent read my other posts or maybe just comments from people who cant relate, so its hard for them to begin to think in a different mind set. i think just comments as a whole maybe. if i had something near me, to where face to face support was possible i would definatly choose that then writing. and maybe i should look for more support from friends who are here and dont make me feel judged. (which no kathy, you have not made me feel that way) you hav always showed compassion and the willingness to learn and try to look at it from all angles and views. and know that its someones actual experience, and thats its not about right or wrong.