I worked in a Dr. office, he understood me since he was from nam and got most of his more elaborate training there, well there came a day i swore i had a neck and luck problem, he checked out my throat and said nothing at all was wrong, I said so its a flashback huh? he said yes.
I lasted about one more month, and gave it my all, finally i had to tell him that i was so sick of flashbacks that i could no longer care without messing up things, i.e. putting test results in the right files, (we WOULD because of as ass of a receptionist have to go thru them all to find what she misplaced, no fun, no time, and overtime when we all had plans for the night) I felt i would not be doing the best job possible for the best doctor I have ever met professionally speaking, we agreed if they go away for me to return, well then my brother got sicker from hd and I didn't need to balance the scales of life anylonger, he was sick on one scale, i could really help others on the other to balance the fact i could not help my dearest brother.
We will forever be indebted to each other, the doctor and I , and I had given him my best portrait called "external tears" a beautiful woman who held an eye dropper near her cheek, she was so beautiful that the tears were not to ruin her face, but to come out of the eye dropper. He cherisher daily and blushed at me telling him how he should train all m.d. 's because he was one in a million, made house calls, didn't have insurance pay him five dollars a month etc. I am forever indebted to know such a doctor exists on this planet.
Anyway, normal is where you are now, happy you are normal, confused and can't keep thoughts needed, normal for where you are within your ptsd
food for thought.
btw, still not working, miss the money not the people
I say the goverment pays me for not irritating people
I don't feel guilty, i worked many jobs and put into my social security, now its time for me to be the one to use it.
Donna-Lynne