I went to the doctors today to ask about my next phase of therapy and why I have been waiting so long - I believed that my wait was because I was so inconsistent with my last therapist. I explained to doc that I found the sessions really hard as my relationship was falling apart, my timetable for therapy coincided with my Uni lectures and attending them after CBT was not good at all, I also pointed out that I did tell the Psych at my inital assessment that I was afraid to have therapy with a MALE therapist, plus after keeping all of this sh*t inside for the last 26yrs was the most difficult part to over come and deal with. We sorted that side of things out and a letter outlining my issues is going to be sent on.

I talked a bit about being concerned that my PTSS (previous diagnoses) if left/untreated for any longer will result in me being at higher risk of having PTSD - He said 'Well I would not concern yourself with that as we have felt for some months now that your diagnoses is indeed PTSD'.............Sh*t!!!

I feel like I have been diagnosed with some form of cancer but that I cannot tell anyone becuase they have not heard about this or know very little about it! I walked around the shops for 4hrs with intervals where the tears would just fall down my face - how sad am I?

I feel so alone and I just want someone to hold me!

I was also prescribed some meds - PLEASE CAN SOMEONE TELL ME IF THEY KNOW OF THESE AND HOW THEY MAKE YOU FEEL???? I have an absolute fear of taking medication (long story) needless to say I am not sure I will take them - last time I threw them in the bin.

Citalopram Hybdrobromide 10mg
Zopiclone 3.75mg (these are sleeping tablets)

I wished this would all just go away!

Please can someone help me!