again more poems, I'm too whacked out from being in the er overnight being evaluted for possibly going to a psych unit, nope i was fine this morning, in hell last night, so I am using already written stuff, enjoy if you can identify yourself in them.

Recovery Love

You ask me to love you, I do, oh baby I do, but miss you- I just cannot.
Unless it is before my eyes, you, on the spot,
can I love you, honestly love you.
I'm a runner, slowly slowing down, but I can't miss what is not around.
I was left, not right , everyday of my life.
Til I learned how it's played, shut off, shut down, unless it's around.
I try to hunger for your love while you are away,
but that's just it, I act it, I play.
Words not meant to harm.
But it is the air I feel, and not your arm.
I am programmed quite stronger then most,
because child stands guard, (my inner child)
when love leaves its post.
So guarded am I, that you cannot cause pain,
sorry my love, for it is what I feel.
But the wolves remain hungry - without you - it's me, they will try to steal.
And weak, oh yes, very weak and yearning.
You started the process of love that I am learning,
so go away - tell me sweet- how much you miss me,
it's me, the others greet.
I'm starving-unquenched, while you play your toy, (guitar player)
I'm weak and daring, to every single boy.
This girl needs love, no part-time position required.
It's full time or nothing, the position desired.
The pay more then fair, benefits too, every single day, of me and the unknown future you.
So if not busy, sign your name now, if not, I expect endings like this,
it's what i've been taught, yesteryears and now.
I love you, I love you, words on paper, no ear to reach,
no want to solve this caper
I really care, but so what-
I really love- **** me-
I realy want- but suffication of desire opens other doors, letting the worlds' oxygen in, and the others know my address.
Sorry- I do love you- but miss you- I miss no one-
ptsd to blame, and I thank it now for moving away from you.