Recovery sat. june 5th 93'

How do you tell prospective friends, you've never lived the 30 year old body they see.
How do you say, you've run away, in constant fear of being caught, only you don't remember all the weapons used, or all the faces behind them, how could I, there were just way too many?
How then do you tell them, you don't want to remember anymore?
That the memories provided in flashbacks, hurt and broke you to the point of total emotional and mental break down?
How do you make them believe your kindness is so real, when they don't?
That you know pain and forbid the passage, or when pain is felt, you want to share the misery to the non-optimists?
How do you tell them you were just born, today, and that the over grown body is emerly a facade?
How do you cancel the super instinctive qualities bore through the brain?
And, PLEASE, please tell me, after all this, cause I never felt it,
what does love feel like?

dlj