Lisa, I sorta feel like I, among others, have just unwrapped a very large present. I suspect this may sound a bit corny, but your gift here of your experience and this understanding is overwhelming me right now with a great deal of appreciated insight which seems I have forever lacked. I grew up in a state of utter bewilderment, anguishes and utter confusion. I've habitually self-harmed myself too, and until tonight....until reading your post, I had lost much personal thought and memory of all of mine, to time, lack of understanding and perhaps both denial and delusion.

I've had difficulties wanting and yet trying to understand self harm, bc a) I thought it had meant that I had to actually go through with the cut or the burn, which I barely once did. I didn't dare to, as I feared my pain, trauma(s) and anguish would then become permanent, real and visible enough that I might lose all controls. And, b) I rationalized real self-harm as actual deep cutting and burning, while remaining to personally dismiss and/or forget so much.

Yet tonight, I now remember, I remember so many various, some repetitive self-harms which I did to myself. Yet tonight, through the tears of reading, I feel released in many ways and grateful for what I most naturally receive as a gift; An understanding...A real understanding of so much of what self-harm is and why.


Thank you so much Lisa for sharing every word of experience and your understanding with us.

Thanks for helping to wipe-out so much tucked-away confusion and isolation.

Hope