Thank you both for what you have said

I can take a lot of positivity from your advice and insight.

One thing that does concern me - I read on the forum somewhere that the person you were before the trauma took place is still the person you can be after working hard in therapy and trying to connect with self.

However, what if you have been displaying the symptoms of PTSD since you were 11 years old and have been living/existing in a PTSD haze for 25 years! What if this journey of self discovery has only now begun? How do i know who I was? As it was so long ago and I can't remember myself before the trauma happened.

I was having one of my bad days not so long ago and my ex-partner sent me a text and what he said made me LOL! I told him how much I appreciated the text as it had made me laugh in the middle of all those emotions/crying - he said 'don't cry over the past it has made you the beautiful wonderful person that you are' (which is the most wonderful thing that someone has told me for a long time). Anyway, it was only then that I realised that ACTUALLY, I am who I am in spite of the past not because of it - so is that the real me??

Thank you
Spiritofnow