Evie, I'm not sure what would happen to your memories exactly.

But I don't think you would be expected to look at those memories without feeling sadness, anger etc. Even those without PTSD who had those memories would feel sadness if reflecting on them.

I don't expect that I would look at my sexual assault with 'oh that old thing' and feel no emotion. What I am hoping is that like other 'negative' memories I have, that I will be able to feel the emotions appropriate to the memory but not be overwhelmed by them.

I hope to be able to say a) this trauma happened to me b) I can put all the pieces of the puzzle together or acceptance that I can't c) I can feel the emotions attached to it but not become sick d) the memories do not impact on my day to day functioning e) the memories do not cause PTSD symptoms

I know that something you are experiencing at the moment is grief, so I want to be sensitive about this. But sometimes I imagine a similiarity between the process of grief i.e. anger, denial, sorrow, acceptance etc and maybe a similiar process with PTSD???

Sometimes the intense pain I get with PTSD reminds me of the intense pain I get with grief. I wonder if the memories of PTSD & the loss of a loved one are something you don't ever get over. It's never 'okay', but with time, work & healing you are able to integrate the trauma/grief into who you are in a manner in which is acceptable to you. Sort of like a patchwork quilt where you incorporate that square into the patchwork of your life.

Anyway that's just my personal theory.

And I still think we are all pretty much posting the same thing - that PTSD is not curable - yet. The argument is more how you approach that fact. Pretend it's not there & think 'positive', accept the fact & approach it realistically, be distressed by the fact & respond negatively.