batgirl,
I see and hear you, losing someone runs the gamets of emotions, all very, very normal.
A woman once said, the longer my husbands death is, the better he gets.
We tend to try to remember all the goodness that person has caused in his life, after time, and the sadder ones lessen, abit.
Our hearts are not designed to accept losses, especially ones that are grand. Let yourself feel all that you do, maybe a journal would be a good idea, writing how you are feeling when bothered, sad, angry, and let those feelings out on paper and not bottled up inside.
You can even write letters to him, telling him why these feelings are present.
He is amongst the best of the best, we are left to pick up the peices of our broken hearts.
Sorry for your loss,
Donna-Lynne