I have been thinking about this further and I think I missed answering this part of the question.

There were some posts awhile ago and Veiled said something along the lines of being somewhat indirect, like dropping hints, rather than the spouse of the PTSD suffering outright saying what they wanted to. I am sure Veiled will correct me if I misunderstood. I took this comment and sometimes apply it in my relationship when Anthony is not as well as normal. Rather than state my point of view and make an issue of it I turn it around and say, as a passing comment, have you thought about this or I heard this etc and leave it as that. What I then find, at stressful times, is that Anthony then processes it in his own time and usually comes back to me in a day or two willing to either discuss what I had to say or even sometimes, taking note and making a positive change without any real issue.