Hiya Madjon
Thank you for your post again.
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...can all be feelings that come up when your partners are working through the things they have to deal with when you are going through things
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Unfortunaltely my partner is probably in denial about the PTSD and does not seem to think that it something that we need to cope with. I'm not saying he doesnt care. He really does. He wants to help. But he doesnt understand that what I'm going through is normal. So talking about it just doesnt get me anywhere. He thinks it is possible to "just put it all behind you". Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Don't seem to be able to convince him that it doesnt work like that.
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the best way forward is communication talking and understanding..... if they can understand what is going on it makes a big difference
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I agree whole heartedly with that statement. I really do. But how do you do that when he doesnt want to understand more about what I am going through? How do I get the confidence up to talk about it when almost all I have experienced when I have told people about my trauma is rejection and disbelief? I want to be honest and open but I just cant take any more rejection. Its going to take time for me to try and rebuild my self esteem enough to do that. Maybe one day.
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hiding it and saying nothing only makes it harder to talk about and to communicate what is going on, and also a lack of communication leads to more problems and fears.
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True, so true. But I can't open up no matter how much I want to talk about it. I've had 13 plus years of keeping my cards close to my chest so I guess that its ingrained in me now. Maybe my counsellor can help to change that slowly. I hope so.
I'm not dismissing what you are saying at all Jon. You make so much sense and I want you to know that. I just dont seem to be able to do it no matter how much I want to. I'm sure that if my counsellor can help me with opening up then I will find that I can take action on what you have advised. So again thank you ever so much. Your words will not be wasted.
Take care