Jen,

First let me say that my husband could be named Mr. 50% too...or perhaps Mr. 25% would be better...and he doesn't have PTSD! I think it's just a man thing...I'm not trying to man-bash, but I honestly do think it has nothing to do with the PTSD and everything to do with him being a man. Testosterone clouds his mind...LOL.

As far as sitting all day watching TV and not doing anything around the house, it is something that I (with PTSD) do and am beginning to understand why. I have every intention of doing stuff around the house but when I look around for something to get started with, I am just so overwhelmed that I don't know where to start. It helps if I have a list of things to do - and it doesn't help if Warren tells me things he'd like me to get done while he is at work and I'm not, because my PTSD mind will completely forget even one thing on the list!

Do I feel guilty when Warren gets home and nothing (or very little) has gotten home? Heck yes! And I beat myself up mentally over it. Does it motivate me to get myself in gear and do better the next time? Well, I tell myself I will the next time, but when the next time comes, it's like the movie, "Ground Hog Day"...same thing different day...no on purpose, mind you...

Our minds can only process so much at a time, and usually it is continually trying to process the trauma that gave us PTSD in the first place, mostly processing inefficiently, though. I liken it to a computer. The one I am currently on is about 3 years old and is quite full with "stuff"; the hard drive is almost full. As a result, the computer runs sluggishly with almost everything, especially when it's a very large program. It's not that it can't process it, it just is so full that it's got so much to go through to get to what it is searching for. If we keep trying to put more on the hard drive it may get so full that it crashes...and that's like a mental breakdown. If we "wipe" our hard drive (delete everything and start over again), or delete programs and files that we no longer need or use, especially the bad ones (viruses, spyware, malware, etc.), the computer will run much faster and more efficiently. And that's what those of us in therapy are trying to do. Even though we can't wipe our minds clean (and wouldn't want to), we are trying to delete the old, no-longer needed (or wanted) files that are bogging down our "hard drive" (our mind).

I completely understand your frustration and sympathize with you. Just hang in there...come here and vent...and know we are all here for you - the suffers and spouses alike.