I am sorry for your pain blueeyedgirl and the struggle you are going through.

As much as I don't want to cause you further pain I feel I should point out you are making most of the effort in what seems to be a one-sided relationship. Being a female I can relate to what you must be experiencing and the emotional roller-coster ride you seem to be on. The best advice I can offer you at this stage is do not make contact with this man and see what he does. I am aware that a situation where you are texting and ringing with no reply is usually a good indicator to back off and give him some space. While I understand what you have written about what you did it could possibly come across as if you are all over the place emotionally and some men don't do well with that.

Please take care.