I've read that disbelief and blaming the victim are harmful forms of secondary wounding, and in my experience I find that to be true. But here's the one that has done the most harm to me by far....

Shifting the problem from your environment to your mental health or personality. Or perhaps, denying the problem and instead pointing the finger at your sanity.

For example... "You're too sensitive" "You're paranoid" "You need to toughen up" or "Your depression is causing you to misinterpret their actions" "Your judgment is way off" "You need to change" ...ways of invalidating the trauma, taking the attitude that the main problem is that you're messed up.

My dad often times does this, it's the form his disbelief takes. My mother did something similar when I was physically injured or sick. All this when others in my situations have not only confirmed my perspective but believe it is worse than I do.


At my last job, when management ran out of ways to scapegoat me they started pointing the finger at my personality... turned out the problem was sabotage and rumor.

Anyone else have people in their lives who do this?